Michigan Woman Rescued From Outhouse After Dropping Apple Watch Inside

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A few years ago, I worked on a large project to set up, validate, and prepare a new, big building that would be used for the manufacture of medical devices. The building engineering staff were very proud of this state-of-the-art building. While taking care of the “necessary”, I was seated next to an engineer who explained to me the workings of the “waterless urinal”.

You will find this important, I assure you.

These porcelain devices, which were very similar to other appliances of the same type, except for their lack of plumbing, drain into a compartment containing a chemical cake. When one performed micturition, the chemical cake absorbed the results, and it had to be replaced every month. I told the engineer that, when I was young, my family had a waterless receptacle that was suitable for both types of “necessary”. It only needed to be cleaned once a year. He was amazed and asked him how it worked.

I told him truthfully, “It is mounted on skids, and once a year we dig a hole, attach the tractor to it, and pull the thing over the hole. Then, we fill in the old hole.” I confirmed that there was indeed a quarter moon cut into the door when questioned. You don’t mess around with tradition.

The classic one-holder is not well known today. This is a shame, as it could have saved a Michigan woman smelling and suffering an unpleasant ordeal when she tried to retrieve her Apple Watch.

The AP Story:

The woman, who was trapped in the toilet after climbing in to retrieve her Apple Watch but became trapped, was rescued on Tuesday in Northern Michigan.

State police released a statement Wednesday stating that the woman, who was not identified, dropped the watch in the toilet at Dixon Lake, in the Bagley Township of Otsego County, after she had dropped it at the Department of Natural Resources boat launch.

When the woman yelled for help, first responders were contacted. The woman was hauled out using a strap after the toilet was removed.

The porta-potty is not gender-neutral.

It is not known if the woman was able to retrieve her watch. This is probably a good thing because when something like this happens, people are bound to slam her. After an experience like this, she was probably pooped and not in the mood to deal with a group of friends who were full of bad humor.

The woman’s identity is also unknown. If she had children, it would be best if they were not around. It was embarrassing enough as it was without little squirts. After the rescue, the woman disappeared with the wind. She was probably heading to a no-dumping area.

It seems reasonable.