Princeton Can Train Your Son to Be a Drag Queen for $83,140

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The cost of sending a student to Princeton University is $83,140 for just one year. This Ivy League institution will cost you $332,560 for four years. For that amount, you could buy a new convertible Corvette each year.

But Princeton has its benefits: you may not be able to tool around in the glorious sunshine with the wind blowing your hair back, but for all that dough, Princeton will take your thoughtful, intelligent son and turn him into a prancing, preening, children’s-innocence-stealing drag queen. And they will do that in just one year, in case you can’t afford all four. Hey, it’s worth $83,140 to get in step with the times, isn’t it?

Parents send their kids to Princeton to learn this art form. There are many parents who would be proud and happy, even thrilled, to see their sons become drag queens. But there are also cheaper ways of achieving this goal than spending $83,140 on a Princeton degree.

Students need not worry that they are too young to participate in this program. There are no prerequisites, and students can become drag queens with only one course. It’s no wonder Princeton charges such high prices.

The course is for the whole “academic year” and covers an array of important issues that all young men who are graduating college and will face in the future in a few years need to be familiar with. The course covers “the history and choreography of drag,” “Sewing 101,” face painting, photoshoots, and more.

Princeton, as usual, was offering scholarships for this course. As anyone could expect, an Instagram post said: “Drag University” is a brand new program that falls under the mentorship section of the Gender + Sexuality Resource Center. The Gender + Sexuality Resource Center claims to foster “a supportive, inclusive community on campus for women, femmes, trans, and queer Princetonians”.

Princeton Drag University, a year-long program, is in line with this mission. It will “teach the history and art of drag as well as drag’s culture.” The sessions will be taught either by local drag artists, campus partners who are familiar with machines, and/or other students. This program is available to both undergraduate and graduate students. The first eight applicants who attend orientation and commit to the full curriculum will receive a scholarship that covers supplies costs.

Generous. The course was so in tune with the spirit and time of the era that the scholarship funds were all gone in the blink of an eye. The College Fix reported that the form “was updated this week” to state: “At this point, we have reached our scholarship capacity, but you are welcome to attend our workshop.” This kind invitation seems to be extended to only Princeton students so you still get to keep your $83,140.

It would be only natural that Princeton, which is known for its “pride,” the symbol of the LGBTQETC movement and the second-most popular deadly sin, would be enthusiastic and eager to answer any questions about the new Drag University. The College Fix contacted university administrators, Princeton’s media affairs division, and the Gender + Sexuality Resource Center to ask about the number of students who were enrolled, as well as the pool of money used to fund scholarships. However, all three ignored The College Fix’s inquiries.

They couldn’t possibly have anything to hide, could you? They must be bursting with pride at their Drag University and want to tell all Princeton parents and graduates about it. Don’t they? Why not? Could it be, that under their dresses, exaggerated make-up, and wigs the Princeton administrators have some understanding of how offensive this “academic” course is on many levels? Inconceivable!