Americans’ Skyrocketing Crankiness: The Surprising Numbers Behind the Mood


According to a UN survey, the GenZers under 30 are the least happy. U.S. happiness ranked 23rd globally, based on the happiness ratings of respondents.

The United States was ranked 15th last year. The score for each year is based on a three-year average. So, we must have done something wrong in 2023 — and with Bidenomics’ help — to fall eight places in one year.

We’ll look at the good news that is buried within the survey.

Norway is not far behind, at number 7. Four of the five Scandinavian nations are in the top four. I think it’s because Scandinavians drink mead for 15 hours every day in the sauna. Don’t worry about facts once my mind is made.

Russia has fallen to 72nd between Moldova and Bolivia after Vlad Putin’s thugs instructed everyone to say, “Very happy and honest!” When asked, I made up that last part. This is what I said, but it’s not much, given the results of the Russian presidential election.

Communist China ranks 60th because despite having the largest middle class in the world and enough high-speed railways to make a progressive American bitter with envy, Communism is still bad.

Libya is ranked 66th for the second consecutive year. This is impressive because Libya hasn’t been a country since Barack Obama ordered Hillary Clinton to break it up in 2011.

It sounds good until you realize that Germany’s idea of fun is to arrange things correctly and wallow in guilt over the war. They can’t beat us anymore on beer quality, thanks to the microbrew revolution. If the Germans can manage to place in the top 50 of happiness rankings, they should be even happier.

We’re still ahead of you by two places, Mexico. Even though you send all those criminals across our border and make a lot of money from fentanyl. Is there a shortage of tequila that I am not aware of?

Afghanistan ranks dead last when it comes to happiness. Team Biden and the Taliban have accomplished their mission.

Now let’s take a look at some of the more worrying stuff.

The UN has found that the older Americans are, the happier they are. We would have ranked in the top 10 if the survey had only asked Boomers and Generation Xers. The people born between 1980 and 2000 are the ones who have us in such a low position. I think I know why.

It feels like yesterday that I wrote about a study that showed that having “critical attitudes towards social justice” in regards to people and politics, i.e. being Woke, made one more likely to feel “unhappy and anxious.”

The young are more likely than older people to call themselves “Woke”.

If you take away the Woke, we are one of the happiest countries on Earth. If you can’t enjoy your 20s and 30s how will you cope with growing older?